Do you know what it feels like to trust in God. I mean REALLY trust in Him. Not the kind of trust where everything is going great, yeah, God is blessing me. But the kind that even when bad, horrible, disastrous things are happening you are still praising Him and full of joy and peace? I think I have found that very place, and boy, let me tell you, it is an AMAZING place to be!
The default judgment I was previously granted for my divorce has been set aside as of Wednesday of last week. So I am now, in effect, UN-divorced! Now before you start with the sympathy, let me tell you that I think it is a hoot and a half! I mean how many people can say they are UN-divorced! It just cracks me up! So would you like to know the secret to my crazy weirdo joy? TRUST!
I guess I should start at the beginning, its a very good place to start....
About a month ago my attorney informed me that the Motion to Vacate Judgement had been filed in relation to my divorce. I reacted much like you might expect, with tears, anger, frustration, fear. The fear, that's what got me. I am in Christ. There is no fear in Christ Jesus (I John 4:18). I hate fear, because I KNOW that fear is of Satan, so if I am experiencing fear that means I am not trusting in the Lord!
So all that night and the next morning I was sad, worried, and afraid. But then, I said out loud to a friend all the things that I was trying to think of. Everything will be okay, God has a plan, Deuce is his child and I am only here to take care of him for God, that being so, God will not let anything befall Deuce that isn't inline with the path that God has for him. Immediately all that apprehension, fear and worry disappeared! I have not dwelt on any negative thoughts regarding the situation since. If they try to creep in I just think or say the promises that my God has given me.
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV)
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but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)
I am so full of joy and peace. I am not upset that I am now un-divorced. As I said, I think it is quite funny! I know that God is in control, that he has a plan and I cannot even begin to fathom what it is. I am just doing everything I can to stay obedient to God. I will, "love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me" Matthew 5:44. I will praise Him in this situation, because I know that no matter where I am He is still God. I know that he is just and loves his children. I know that He will work all things for His glory and for good for those who love Him!
I feel like I cannot give this topic justice. I can't seem to put into words the way I feel. I think I have finally truly fallen in love with my God. I trust him completely. I rely on him solely. I long only for his voice and presence. My only desire is that my contentment, peace, joy and strength will be a testament to the amazing awesomeness of what God can do when you are completely devoted to him!
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