As you, my dear reader, will know
from several of my past posts, I have struggled for a very long time with
relationship and purity issues. Let’s be clear here, I am talking about sexual promiscuity,
jumping into relationships that are unhealthy, allowing myself to be used to satisfy a
fleeting and destructive desire, being heartbroken and feeling used. It has
taken me years to bring these desires into check. I say into check because
while I have learned how to channel Christ’s strength to overcome them, some
are still there and may always be. It has truly been something God and I have
gone head to head on over, and over again.
The journey has taken me nearly three years to work through, but God has
been so faithful, and issue by issue, brick by brick, He has helped me to tear
down that stronghold that Satan had built in my life.
I would like to share a few
truths that God has shown me that might help anyone else who is struggling with
similar issues or just with being single in general.
1. If
you are not trusting God with your relationship status, if you are going out
and searching for your next relationship, you do not believe that He knows what
is best.
For
I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jer.
29:11, NIV)
2. If
you spend more time thinking about being in a relationship or looking for your
next relationship than focused on the Lord, you have an idol. Don’t get me wrong, if God has given you the
desire to be a wife that is a legitimate desire, just don’t become so fixated
on it that it becomes the most important thing.
Put
to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity,
passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. (Col. 3:5, NIV)
3. Just
like anything else that a person might struggle with, YOU CANNOT OVERCOME THIS
ALONE!! Only through God’s help will you ever be able to truly overcome
weakness of any sort.
But
he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my
weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Cor. 12:9, NIV)
4. You
will have to become aware of yourself and the Holy Spirit’s instruction.
Sometimes you will not like the things you may have to give up, but trust him,
He knows what He is doing. He is after all our Teacher. Be aware and vigilant!
Watch and pray so that you will not fall
into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matt. 26:41,
NIV).
5. God
will always provide for your needs according to His mercy and goodness. Once I
was able to break my fixation on one
person filling my every need, I discovered that God had placed so many amazing
people in my life to support me, love me and give me those things that I needed,
in a Godly way.
And
my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ
Jesus. (Phil. 4:19, NIV)
6. SEEK
GOD FIRST!! I cannot tell you how important this is. Fall in love with Jesus.
Read about Him, create a picture of Him in your mind with the help of the Holy
Spirit and the bible. Make Him REAL to you. Falling in love with Jesus is a
remarkable experience. You will feel His presence and love surrounding you.
I don’t want your sacrifices—I want your
love; I don’t want your offerings—I want you to know me. (Hs. 6:6, NIV)
7. Once
you have realigned your priorities to God’s guidelines, write a description of
who you think the perfect mate for you would look like, be like, etc. Be bold,
no bars held, everything you want. Now read it and realize that whatever God
has in store for you will be even better than everything you just listed.
BETTER!!
Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of)
the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His
purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that
we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires,
thoughts, hopes, or dreams]— (Eph. 3:20, AMP)
8. Contentment
is key. It is hard, it is frustrating, it is everything. If you cannot be
content in where you are and what God has blessed you with now, you will never
be able to appreciate the more He wants to give you! You are in this place for a purpose, celebrate
your growth!
I am not saying
this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the
circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to
have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every
situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in
want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
(Phil. 4:11-13, NIV)
9. Be
THANKFUL!! EVEN IN THE HARD, BE THANKFUL! That is where you will find your JOY
and CONTENTMENT!
And let the peace of Christ rule in your
hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the
word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all
wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your
hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name
of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Col. 3:15-17,
NIV)
10. I
have saved this one for last because it is so very important. KNOW YOUR WORTH
IN CHRIST! You are the Daughter of the Most High God and Betrothed of the King of
Kings, your worth is immeasurable! Claim your inheritance and live like you
know it! Don’t settle for anything less than someone who Jesus is willing to
step aside for and allow to love you as His earthly counterpart. Read that last
sentence again, that is really what a husband is! Isn’t that amazing and
wonderful?!?!?
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord
Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the
heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world,
that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for
adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to
the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses,
according to the riches of his grace, ... (Eph. 1:3-14, ESV)
I am so humbled to be able to say
that I have found peace, God’s peace and I am no longer tormented, enslaved, or
shamed by the past choices I have made. I live in God’s freedom and His grace.
I hope the lessons that I have worked so hard to learn will help you whether
you are struggling with contentment, purity, or understanding what God’s will
is for your life.
Be Blessed,
~A.
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